Survey #48: 59% of Suburbs go to church at least some of the time, 41% won't.
Survey #47: Anyone displaying that much bad plastic surgery can't possibly be on my Man Law Table.
Survey #46: There is only one Moses. Comments include "Russell Crowe played a gay rugby LEAGUE player in an early movie. That removes him from the list for 2 reasons: 1. He portrayed a rugby LEAGUE player. 2. He portrayed a mary." and a heartfelt demand from Benoit Cayer: "Why isn't my name on that list! That's a bunch of BS! Heston can eat my shorts. I have more masculinity in my pinky than all of you girls. YO ES MAS MACHO!"
Survey #45: Looks like the commemorative garments edged out the topless dancers.
Survey #44: Okay. Opinions registered.
Survey #43: The Redskins didn't correctly predict it and neither did Zogby (who predicted a 300+ electoral vote win for Kerry), but we got it right.
Survey #42: I am gratified to see that the Rugby Reader's Review placed well...
Survey #41: Bon appetite.
Survey #40: The Severn River match edged the others out. As for me, it was way too humid that day!
Survey #39: In the 2003 Rugby World Cup, England won first place, Australia second, New Zealand third, France fourth.
Survey #38: It's nice to see the support for the national side, but note that 20 respondants have negative or rather indifferent responses. It might help to explain why the "sleeping giants" of rugby might not be awakened any time soon.
Survey #37: I guess the 19 people who selected the Reds playoffs actually played in it - or else some people find it just as fun to watch rugby as play it! The good second-place showing of the 4/5 matches was obvious - every side won their match.
Survey #36: My favorite is Amish's dream car, descibed in the comments: "I'm looking into getting an old step van (something like a UPS truck). I can throw some old couches in the back and have an instant partymobile. Might even cut a hole in the side and sell fajitas and ice cream outside the office at lunch, that'd be swell." Ned suggested Kit from "Knight Rider": "He can drive himself - Permanent Designated Driver!!!!"
Survey #35: I messed up on this one as I forgot to include James Bond and Austin Powers. Other suggestions were for Porky's, various Clint Eastwood films, CHUD, Lipstick Lesbians (the other kind don't wear lipstick?) and various X-rated films.
Survey #34: Only two people said "Beer?" That's a surprise. My favorite answer to "All I want for Christmas is..." is from Aki, who wrote, "...a few more years with WSRFC." And yes, I did get my Nikon telephoto zoom - you shall see it on the sidelines at some future match.
Survey #33: The problem with listing anything alcohol-related on one of these surveys is that everyone will respond to it as a joke answer. But this time, methinks, these guys are actually using booze to kill pain! I knew Motrin was popular, but I've never tried Aleve...
Survey #32: No surprises here, either. The Reds really played well in that PAC match; they really caught fire. There was only a two point difference between the first place side (PAC C) and the second place side (the Reds) in the PRU Division III competition (Fall '02). The win against West Potomac is what got them into the April playoffs.
Survey #31: Well, no surprise here. My guess is that the reason why the Raleigh match got three votes is mostly due to their excellent hospitality.
Survey #30: Some people on a Film Noir message board maintained that guys looked at women's shoes. I disagreed.
Survey #29: Not a whole lot of response here, and the results are puzzling since the Reds lost their matches to the Irish and West Potomac!
Survey #28: Apparently, we like it when we can beat old rivals.
Survey #27: Actual score: Young Boys 38 - Old Boys 8. Lots of comments. My favorite, from "The Geezer Brigade," was, "Our yearly digital rectal exam is a lot more scary than playing against you punks."
Survey #26: This is heartening; not unexpected. The only surprise to me is the one selection of the "jersey styles" answer - which I suspect is a joke.
Survey #25: Well, this was interesting. Out of 32 people responding, 23 are average, suck, recreational, social or waiting for the whistle to blow. And one fellow thinks he eclipses Jonah Lomu.
Survey #24: These are Buzz's questions and answers, not mine. I do not know how one would have sex with a banana.
Survey #23: 28 people think protective padding in rugby is okay, 17 don't like it. One Irishman wrote, "Just wondering, how come Americans are so against shoulder pads? You seem to be obsessed with them in your only physical sports... American football! I would have thought that you would have welcomed the idea." My guess is that the thinking is, "Why create a variation of NFL still called rugby?"
Survey #22: Football, that is, NFL-style gridiron, by a wide margin. I admit I forgot hockey. No golf? Not at all? That surprises me. Schnauzer wrote: "Outside of rugby, nothing is a sport compared to badminton! Sure, sure, you're laughing now, but have you ever watched it on television? It's fast paced, hard out, graceful, but still has the power shot to the corner. You'd be on the edge of your seat watching two players jump back and forth like spiders on a web. Absolutely, FanTASTIC!" Personally, I think the fastest sport on two feet is lacrosse, as they claim. Besides, my son plays it.
Survey #21: You may have wondered what's under a Scotsman's kilt, but you don't have to speculate about what's under the trousers of Western Suburbs - boxers, by a two-to-one margin. (I shall alert the Media.) The "other" makes you wonder, doesn't it? Underoos? Jock straps? Speedos? Let's not go there...
Survey #20: And the winner is... Elvis' hair color. I, however, regard this as a minor distraction - Harpy's hairy back is far more impressive. Zippy running and barking at players is a unique sight to Western Suburbs. No other club has a barking back. The fact that "Rover's wallet" got no responses convinces me that few people in this club realize how often it is opened to benefit the club in some way. And as far as "Trip's pecs" goes - methinks Trip voted four times.
Survey #19: This one confirms my own dislikes: the first two laps and Indian runs. The motivational speeches I kind of enjoy, actually, as a kind of performance. They contain a lot of four letter words and rarely seem to vary much, but they're kind of fun to listen to, nevertheless. Maybe players would look forward to them more if we scored them at the end...
Survey #18: Personally, I've always liked the phrase "goon squad."
Survey #17: I'm going to stop including booze-related answers in these surveys. It makes for too predictable a response! Among the "serious" answers, super-speed seems to be what's preferred. I was the only person to answer "ability to fly." My reasoning is that, 1.) It's not against the current laws, and 2.) If you could fly you wouldn't need super-strength, invulnerability, etc.
Survey #16: Hmmmm.... 57 respondants, the great majority of them "absolutely" ready to commute to Loudoun County for practice, huh? Based on the whining I normally hear about travel, methinks there was some ballot box stuffing... or a high turnout from Loudoun County residents.
Survey #15: A strong showing for New Zealand and England - which comes as a surprise to me, given all the post September 11th flags to be seen in these parts. I guess style, tradition and the haka beat the U.S. Eagles when it comes to rugby. Ned went on record predicting that Sweden would become a rugby powerhouse, and some anti-Irish sentiments were uttered. This survey question caused more comments than any other.
Survey #14: A more or less equal outpouring of sentiment from the young and old guys, indicating that the Generation Gap is alive and well within Suburbs. Two comments: "You should have added 'annoying,'" and a somewhat poetic opinion: "The teachers of the young holding the key to gates passed and veterans of victory and loss...these are the Old Boys..."
Survey #13: This one has some surprises. Three people would spend it all on a man? Two people (besides myself) are into film noir? Three people would donate it to NOW? And nobody would pay me to stop sending e-mails?
Survey #12: If you insist. I know better. A good comment from New Zealand was "It's a fast-moving, exciting game of skill and endurance - unless you're a fat beer drinking footballer with a buggered knee."
Survey #11: What, nobody wanted hard liquor for Christmas?
Survey #10: A full 38% cite booze-related phrases. The last statement is indicative of domestic strife. Personally, I hate "Get lower!" This is what loose forwards always say to tight fivers when the scrum is moving backwards. Of course, pushing harder themselves never seems to be an option.
Survey #9: These results put me in mind of some dialogue from the film "Alive." The Old Christians RFC rugby club is on the plane crossing the Andes, and one player asks another, "What do you like better than rugby?" Another answers, "Sex. When I'm not playing rugby." About the same number of people enjoy flatulation as enjoy reading my e-mails. We can guess who the drug fan is. And yes, the one person who responded about watching film noir was yours truly.
Survey #8: The results are in. We just don't like that guy. My favorite is cutting the WSRFC logo into his chest with a box cutter. Did you ever see the 1930's horror film, "The Black Cat?" Boris Karloff skins Bela Lugosi alive - that's where I got the idea. The use of the box-cutter... well, that's just desserts.
Survey #7: Poor wording of the survey question on my part. What I really wanted to know is, "Did the club provide you with enough playing time?" The people indicating that they didn't get enough playing time (a fairly substantial number, I think) may be expressing an understandable mania about rugby (I don't think Elvis ever gets enough playing time, for example), or perhaps an injury kept them from play. Anyway, it's not clear from my question.
Survey #6: Frankly, I was surprised by this one. I figured props and locks would get the honors. But apparently, you think refs, wingers and being bound naked and gagged are the most pathetic positions. Maybe a bunch of forwards responded to this survey... I don't know.
Survey #5: No surprise here. Beating PAC "C" - a Division I club - got us into the playoffs.
Survey #4: The votes are in, and it appears you want two smaller parties rather than one bigger one. I can't say this will certainly happen, but... the people have spoken!
Survey #3: On my very first rugby practice, Kelly Watkins took me aside and asked how my knees were, and told me that the game is hard on the knees. So it appears to be. (My problems were mostly with ankles and ribs.) "SK" wrote: "That is a toss up between breaking my collar bone, then 1 week short of 6 months later, I broke it again. Or; breaking my rib, which shoved it in, and having to stick my fingers under it and pull it back out into place. Everytime I sneezed, laughed or coughed it would pop out again and I would have to push it back into place. Then the next season breaking two ribs next to the healed rib. Leaving me with a bump under my skin."
Two guys hurt their genitals? I put that in as a gag. Nobody is concerned about medical payments? We must all be rich.
Survey #2: No surprise here, really. It's awfully hard to beat Phillip's Thursday evening after-practice happy hour prices of $1.50 for a pint of Guinness. The classy atmosphere and a smiling face at the taps helps, too. So does first class food and free appetizers. Not sure about Ned Devine's; I've never been there. And as for peeing on the floor, well... this response was no surprise to me, either.
Survey #1: Severn River, Frederick and the Washington Irish are all upper-division clubs, so it makes sense that most players consider these wins the most satisfying. Severn River is the most satisfying win probably because they beat us by only six points a year earlier, winning the championship; the revenge was sweet. The two folks who thought that the Rocky Gorge tie was the most satisfying match puzzle me and a fellow who wrote, "As of 3:00 p.m. on Oct 26, 2 people thought a tie with Rocky Gorge was the most satisfying game of the season! Who are these "sister kissers"??? Beating Virginia 85-0 to clinch the Division Championship was the most satisfying game of the season!!! What is wrong with the rest of you???" Finally a couple of you took me to task for not including the Reds matches. This survey was more of a sample question to see how the software works than it was a thorough examination. I will ask the same question about the Reds when the season ends.
