There are two kinds of history: capital "H" History (the rise and fall of mighty empires, presidential elections, great battles and campaigns, etc.) and lower case "h" history, which is everything else. By any standard, the life and times of the Western Suburbs Rugby Football Club certainly falls into this latter category.

After the November 2000 annual meeting, out-going president Nels Erickson gave me a plastic milk crate full of old newsletters, directories, drawing and other WSRFC paraphernalia. These have accumulated though the years without anyone making an attempt to make any sort of sense of it. Being genetically-designed to replace chaos with order, I spent the better part of a Saturday sorting through it all, and throwing out the stuff that had little or no relevance to Western Suburbs. (In retrospect, I'm a little sorry I tossed out the twenty year-old rugby jersey flyer. The photos of the skinny, geeky-looking model with the mid-Seventies mustache was probably worth posting to the web site with a good, sarcastic caption.)

Occasionally using a calendar to figure out what year undated newsletters were printed, I then arranged the newsletters chronologically and put them in a three ring binder, observing that some years seemed complete and other years were unrepresented.

There's an abundance of lower case "h" history here: scores from past matches, published reports describing the fun of a past season with the expectation of the same for next year, enthusiastic write-ups about championships, great defeats mentioned only in passing, announcements of marriages, players moving away from the club, small unit financial scandals and the usual rebukes for not paying dues on time. As I expected, what I found was that the more things change the more they stay the same. With the exception of the championship seasons, the experience of the average Suburbs player of years past is more like that of today's player than unlike it.

This gave me a sense of continuity in the club, and an awareness that all of us, in our own ways, contributes to the unfolding, evolving story of a local rugby club - our local rugby club.

Some of the comments from past years are so entertaining that I offer them here for your reading pleasure. I start with a somewhat wistful passage by "the XVI Player-at-Large" (Pat Cunningham), who describes the process I went through: looking over old newsletters. Only he did it in 1987 and I am doing it fourteen years later. What Nick Scholl and he said is correct: "Rugby is rugby." It's not profound. And it doesn't necessarily make sense unless you consider the various dissentions we have (and have always had), as well as comments about "How the club is in trouble," etc.

We have always remained "'Burbs," and my guess is that, beginning our twenty-fifth year, we always will.

Wes "Brigham" Clark
WSRFC Secretary
January 1, 2001

The long-awaited arrival of spring provided me an opportune time to clean out several boxes in my apartment. In addition to such things as my high school diploma and cancelled checks from 1981, I came across several WSRFC newsletters, some dated as early as 1978.

My first reaction was to discard the newsletters with the same gusto as my diploma, but for some strange reason I felt I had to read them just once more, and glad I am that I did. For lately I've been quite concerned about some of the talk in this club about problems and personalities. I was worried that perhaps the dissentions I was hearing was an indicator that this club was in trouble. But, after re-reading the old newsletters, I was greatly relieved. Believe it or not we had the same rumblings in years gone by. Nick Scholl helped further with one of his Yogi Berra-style comments, "Hey, rugby is rugby." Not the most profound statement I grant you, but one, that in the proper perspective, makes sense. Not to compare Scholl with any philosopher with credentials, but he comes pretty close to the Ionian Thales who said "The only constant is change."

Our club is always changing. It changes with the passage of each season and it changes with the arrival of new players. I've stated before that WSRFC is almost nomadic in search of a home. In my 17 years of playing the game I have never sported more colors than those of our club. We've changed fields, jerseys, leaders, divisions and financial status, but we have always remained "Burbs."

In one of the newsletters I reviewed, a past member named Terry Ware complained that our coaching was inconsistent, and that most of our forwards belonged in the backline. Sound familiar?

I guess the bottom line to all my rambling is that our club has faced similar uncertainties in the past and we survived. We'll probably do it all again in the future, and once more we will survive.

THE XVI PLAYER-AT-LARGE - May 1987

"I've heard people remark that there is too much negativity in our coaching. Maybe so, but I wonder what is the proper amount? I hear positive as well as negative, although, I will grant that the negative is delivered with much more gusto." - Pat Cunningham, Sept. 1984

"Your PRU governor's name was once again misspelled on a plaque, which he finds amusing. This year's plaque belongs to Buzz McClean. It proudly hangs on a wall next to rugby plaques belonging to Buzz McLain, Buzz McLean, Buz MacClean and Buzz MacLean and Buzz McLain. In case you were wondering, the correct way is McClain, but we're not complaining." - Buzz McWhatever, March 1993

"Guys, 2-6 isn't a good omen for things to come." - Elvis, May 1994.

"That's right, the price (of dues) isn't rising. And what a deal it is: for $40, you are entitled to twelve (12) fun-filled Saturdays of athletic activity, crass camaraderie, exposure to immoral females; no less than eighteen (18) weeks of physical fitness seminars (beats hell outa' Holiday spas!); free use of team uniforms (no rental fee!); access to the best non-professional medical services available ("Think it's a concussion?" "I don't know - his ears are bleeding."); a bi-weekly newsletter; and, free admission to post-game "socials" wherein you are invited to consume all the liquid hops and barley you care to ingest. A deal? Hell, it's a steal!! And, for one time only, you can have a whopping $10.00 discounted from your seasonal dues by paying them before the first match (March 12). That's $30.00 for all we just described. Not only that, but we'll let you buy a team T-shirt, emblazoned with the team logo and a threatening-looking hawk, in black or white, for just $6.00. And we'll let you purchase a genuine, high-class WSRFC team lapel pin (suitable as a tie pin, lapel pin or hat ornament) for just $3.00. That's right, you get all this, plus a genuine Jinsu Stainless Steel kitchen knife, a Popiel Pocket Fisherman, and a Ronco Vegamatic, all for those low fees we just explained. Hurry! Do it today. Give your checks (made out to "Western Suburbs RFC") to club treasurer John Hawley before the first game." - An especially overwrought dues payment appeal from January, 1983

 "Being a member of a club such as ours makes an individual an integral part of something much larger than himself. Everyone has weaknesses, but the club is composed of members who can fill the individual's voids. The success of any player profits all of the players, for they share his honors. Failure is not a lonely thing either, for the burden of this is carried by all.

As you review our past season's memories, I know you'll feel as proud as I do to be a member of this club. My contribution hasn't necessarily been on the pitch; but we can all, in our own way, take pride in knowing that we were a part of what we now represent." - Past WSRFC president Larry Self, June 1979

"Pat's Presidential Perspective: Western Suburbs represents the fifth rugby club I've been a member of in my twelve seasons of active rugby play. It also represents the most apathetic as regards physical conditioning, attitude toward the game and, in general, all the attributes which make rugby the fine sport it is. We have rugby uniforms, belong to the rugby union, know a little about the various rugby laws, but there any similarity between us and a good rugby club stops.

To achieve competitive status in a game such as rugby we must instill in ourselves mutual respect and pride. It is mandatory that we initiate self-disciplines which will result in improved performances on the rugby pitch. How do we do this? The answer is ridiculously simple - we practice. At best our practices resemble Sunday brunch. We have some misconception that practices are to "talk" rugby and "attempt" conditioning. Both are erroneous, dangerous and internally destructive to us as a club and as individuals. We must immediately gear all our practices to subsequently improve our playing ability. Attendance is a must! Granted, not all can make every practice but not showing for any is unacceptable.

Some players will argue, "Why go to practice? I know I will play because the team doesn't have enough for a side without me." If this is your attitude, then you don't belong with us. I'm sorry that my first proclamation has to be cynical, but I sincerely want this club to continue, to succeed and to be a winning rugby club." - Pat Cunningham, October 1977

"Here's the 'Buzz McClain Theory of Increasing Your Chances With Women.' The idea is simple. (What other kind of idea is Buzz going to have?) When you meet a woman who seems interested in you, mention ever-so-casually that you are on a rugby team. We guarantee (or your money back) that she replies, "Ohhh... I've heard that's a rough sport." Brush it off, saying, "Aw, shucks, that's all myth." Then say, "What a coincidence! We have a game Saturday. Why don't you come!" (Hint: Take a long pause between sentences, especially between the last two. It works magic!) When she says, "I'd like to, but ...", you say, "I know you don't know me well enough, so why don't you bring a girlfriend to the game with you? Then we can all go to the party together afterward. Won't that be fun?" She'll agree - never fear. For one, you've demonstrated yourself to be an honest and forthright fellow. Women love that in a man. For another, if she brings a friend she'll have someone to talk to on the sidelines, thereby blighting boredom, and she'll feel "safe" with a friend amid all those strange men. (Be sure to mention we all wear tight shorts!) If she brings a friend, you've just done a teammate a noble favor. You've instantly doubled (!) the number of women at the game and party, thereby doubling all of our chances in "making a new friend." Next week, the friend will bring a friend and so on... If just ten of us did this each Saturday, there would be 20 new women at each game. Think about it. Hell, we could open a f***ing business! Talk about fun FUND RAISING! (Sorry... we're getting a little carried away.)" - February 1983

"So far we are having a .500 season. Not bad but not good. I believe it is time for us all to take a SELF-image of ourselves and decide WARE we're going. We are surely not the weakest of teams, and certainly not the SAMSON of rugby. We can run the ball on the ground or put it in the AYERS as need be. So you ask, what KOURY be wrong? WELLS, it could be that weave GOWEN too far in thinking that this game is easy. Let's quit DECKERING around! It's a game that doesn't require you to be rich or have a lot of MOONEY. NO, BERT you'd better be rugby WEISS and SHARP, not fat and over-weight, BERTRAM. It's a STERN game where many learn from the SCHOLL of "hard knocks". (For hard knocks, just apply some TENENBAUM.) It's as simple as black and WHITE. You either give all you've got or WE will not succeed. I suggest that WINSTEAD of crying about our last two games, we MC CLARY our heads, we CONNALLY be on time for practice, and we look forward to the future. If all goes right, we'll be back on our happy and MURRAY way. If not, we'll just HAWES to do the best we can. GULICK to us all. We may get beaten on the field, but we'll still have fun at KNIGHT. HOLT to see you soon at the Vienna Inn where we can enjoy good food (HOAGies, HAMBERGS, and CUNNING HAMS), and listen to the SHANNON-NA-NA's on the juke box, while sitting in WICKERSHAM chairs, and drawing rugby plays and CURLEY-cues on their napkins." - Pat Cunningham, April 1979. (And people accuse me of being over the top with creative writing!)

 "Also that night, we elected a new group of officers. By the way, it's too late for a recount." - 1996 fall banquet report

"Suburbs received a complaint about us peeing in public view at Dunn Loring, so use the woods, guys!" - July 1994

"The club's policy has always been "no pay-no play", and that policy will continue." - April 1978

"Enough said about that day, except a special thanks to Esther Schiller for the use of her lovely home for the post-game party. She really came through in a time of need as that all the local pubs have banned both Mason and Suburbs." - May 1983

"CIRCA 1978: As much as I don't like to consider the time that has gone by, I realize that it has been almost ten years since I was President of WSRFC. We wore red and blue uniforms then, and our home pitch was at Baron Cameron Park in Reston. I'm not sure of we won any games that year, but I do know that we had a lot of fun.

We practiced at Oakton High School and partied at the Vienna Inn. Marty Shannon told us not to eat the chili and Larry Winstead couldn't keep his clothes on. We were asked several nights to leave the Inn early.

Dave Mooney had a van that Cheech and Chong would envy, and Cunningham saved my skin in what could have been one helluva fight. We had Bob Murray who was fond of driving his car up telephone poles, trees, and almost anything else that stood vertically. We almost burned Bob's house down one night after a game.

All this chaos going on and I savored every minute that I could. I miss playing and I miss some of the guys, yet I feel I'm still very much a part of the WSRFC, and I'm proud of my association with all of you.

I appreciate being asked to contribute to this Newsletter, and being included in the Club activities. I look forward to the 1986 seasons. - Larry W. Self, Past President Western Suburbs Rugby-Football Club" - January 1986 newsletter

"'It's kind of like a whatever type of thing,' John Hawley explains. We'll leave the organizing to our Social Function Chairman who has yet to be told he's it." - Jan 1983

"Match result: Lost to Manassas RFC 0-14. Due to some misunderstanding or other (perhaps the result of the previous days libations), four Western Suburbs players were on hand for the scheduled match with Manassas. Halving the pooled available talent could not ensure a victory for Messers Arnold, Armstrong, White and Bertram." - Fall 1977

"Regarding club property, I strongly urge everyone who has borrowed club equipment to please return same in good order (tears re-sewn, etc.) or bloody well pay us for the kind courtesy of its use. The state of the treasury is very tight and without everyone's help we will rapidly begin to resemble the Woebegone Motleys rather than the efficient machine of Terror that we really are. And get the club's balls back to me or I'll make it a point to get yours as security until then." - John Connolly, April 1978

"Winning rugby is played with 65% player ability, 30% mental ability, 20% knowledge of the game, 10% positive attitude and 5% good old luck. For those up on their math, this totals more than 100% - and that is exactly what each player must produce." Larry Winstead, Sep 1980

"Next season the WSRFC should be a fully-incorporated non-profit organization. This is a milestone in the development of our club as a leader. Incorporation and non-profit status opens many doors which may lead to our own pitch and clubhouse." - July 1986 (Incorporation and tax-exempt status finally happened in 2000. We're still waiting on the pitch and clubhouse.)

"On the pitch you have done so well that I realize that diving off the roof was God's way of telling me to turn over the reins to the new kids. It also spared me the wrath of an unsympathetic selection committee. When I get out of this chair I plan to coach, ref and harass you guys at practice. In the meantime, treat me as if I were already a member of the selection committee." - Greg Gregory, December 1985

"Nearby Woodson High may be fielding its own team for the first time this spring, in addition to the numerous others in the local league. Who can these future 'Burbs players look to for proper training at an early age? Us, of course. Interested? Art Steffen will be happy to fill you in on details. Right, Art? Art? Come in, Art?" - Jan 1983

"You can't do shit without air." - Eric Olhzen, explaining choking, 1984 (Explanation: "We were having a post-match party at the old rugby house on Horseshoe Court in Fairfax with George Mason U. Marcy, Jeff Gravatt's wife (then as now) was pinched on the ass by a GMU guy. Jeff, being the level-headed guy he is, slugged the guy and that started a brawl in the living room. This brawl went on for so long that Pat Herrity had time to go over the turntable and change the record from a Bob Marley song about peace and love to the Stray Cats' "There's a Rumble in Brighton Tonight." Brian George was sitting on a guy slugging him. Eric plastered a guy against the hall wall and held him by his throat. The guy's feet were not touching the ground. That's when Eric, who had these intense "lizard eyes" that had a murky coating on them whenever he was playing rugby or about to kill someone, laughed maniacally and said, "Hey mutherf***er, what you gonna do now? You can't do shit without air." I thought was the wisest thing I'd ever heard - think about the utter truth behind the statement - so I put it in the newsletter. The brawl ended with all the Mason guys fleeing for their lives. As they went busting out of the house en masse, they ran into, and past, a gaggle of sorority gals we'd arranged to attend the party. We had them all to ourselves and it was a great night. Those were the days." - Buzz McClain)

"Dear Sirs;

We are starting our third season within the Potomac Rugby Union. Our schedule is strictly second division and we accept our position as a developing club in the PRU. Our Union dues are current. We are expanding daily and have every interest in providing quality Rugby for the wealth of available participants in the Virginia suburbs.

We have a problem sirs. We have lost potentially excellent Rugby players, supporters and followers due directly to overly "dangerous play" in our scheduled matches. Injuries have been frequent and far too often they have been head injuries. The past two weekends we have experienced the worst of these tendencies. How do you explain to a new player's parents who have come to support their son and our club that Rugby is a beautifully athletic game that rewards the "thinking athlete" rather than the behemoth when they watch their son go down from a raised forearm and play continue without penalty, warning or suspension?

This is a serious problem sirs. We recognize that everyone is learning. We know less than anyone and admit this, but our determination is stronger for that fact. Very simply we are pleading for a "stern crackdown" on dangerous play. We have yet to see a player being sent off in match play, yet very often the source of the dangerous play is one or two players who repeatedly "hit late after kicks and passes" or are persistent "high tacklers."

We will help sirs. Our Captain will cooperate completely with anything the society deems necessary to curb dangerous play. Nobody cares about a few missed calls sirs. That happens, will happen and is part of the game. But without your control, we repeat your control, of this fundamental and most basic inequity in second division play we feel our progress will be severely retarded.

We support you in all your efforts to bring quality Rugby to this area. In an effort to put this to our peers in second division play we have mailed copies of our appeal to all second division clubs in the PRU. Whatever else we can do to aid you would be our pleasure. Don't hesitate to call us." - Letter from WSRFC to the Potomac Rugby Union Referee Society, 9/25/1977

"We actually played once in a cow pasture. You didn't worry about being tackled, except for where you fell. We once had a treasurer who stole all our funds. A good practice has 10 people show up, and probably 4 of them were drunk. We even had a "coach" one year who was so drunk all the time that he would fall down while trying to demonstrate how to do something." - "A Little Nostalgia", Summer 1988

"For those who have not seen the videotapes of the matches filmed by Herrity's Movie Company, our condolences. The tapes are produced in color and sound, and provide a real "eye-opening" show. Filming performed by senior Herrity is clear and follows the action well. That shot by others is not as well done and sometimes leads the viewer to the aspirin bottle or motion sickness pills." - Dec 1985

"Treasurer remains with Terry Ware, although I wonder if his wife is really pregnant or if that's the club's treasury she's carrying around for safekeeping. Get your dues in really fast and we'll see." - April 1978

"Pat Herrity and Charlie Williamson are looking for a new roomie. You can move in on Feb 15 and payment of rent is optional." - Jan 1986

"We're probably the only club in the area with a scrum machine." - Pat Cunningham, Sept 1984

"While on the subject of parties, the Barbarian Burbers are well known for their capacity to devastate visiting teams and women at their parties. But we have fumbled the ball in the singing department. Aside from last weekend, we haven't had any rousing renditions of those sentimental songs we all know and love. Is it because of incapacitation and subsequent absence of our beloved song leader Tom Mowe? Is it because hay fever has stricken our voices out of tune? Is it because we have so many new guys on the squad that they're at a loss for words (the words to the songs, that is)? Whatever the excuse, we had better correct it before some other team shows us up by calling upon us to sing and all we can do is a half chorus of 'Yo Ho.'" - Sept 1984

"Tom Thornton is also arranging matters for an event of a decided unwholesome nature, that being Divorce Party Part 2. Just when you thought it was safe to get married again, here comes this year's answer to celibacy. If you recall the first Divorce Party, some of the female attendees came in bridal gowns and at least one young man was deflowered on the front lawn. The next party, known as "D.P. Two" is slated to occur July 23 at a location to be announced. You (and all concerned officials) will be notified." - May 1983

"Dr. Fume is throwing another of his stellar get-togethers. The last one had the police making an appearance. Luckily, he was a former team member." - Jan 1983. Buzz McClain notes: "Three women showed up in wedding gowns and Jeff Gravatt left wearing a plastic trash bag instead of clothes. I woke up under the tarp of a neighbor's boat in the driveway. Dawn: there were bodies strewn like Antietam, face down and with limbs akimbo. Cops came; one of them was a former member of the club, so no arrests were made but he did warn the neighbors to stop complaining."

"Other topics discussed concerned some of the younger players who attend our parties. We have a certain amount of legal and moral obligation to see that not only they, but any of your teammates, are capable of leaving the party in one piece. We need them wrapped around an opponent, not a tree." - Sep 1984

" I remember one night when Coach Anderson tore into the forwards with a tirade that would have embarrassed Vince Lombardi. A rookie forward turned to Irwin and explained that he wasn't guilty of the offense. Irwin acknowledged what was said and replied, "You only have to hear what applies to you." Not the most profound statement in the world, but certainly the most appropriate." - Pat Cunningham, Sep 1984

"Jeff Gravatt and Marcy are having an engagement party on Feb. 1 at 7 PM. (She still thinks he is going to do it.)" - Jan 1986

"Brad Fuller got away from the summer heat and humidity by spending some of his time in the Mt. Clifton Monastery for Tranquil Existence, which is located just near Davenport, Miss. Brother Brad said the time was well spent insofar that he now has a better understanding of who he is. He said he was going back next year to find out who Brian George is." - Summer 1989

"The awards banquet was held on December 10th 1988 at Mama's Italian Restaurant in Fairfax. Once again, the most unusual aspect of a rugby banquet was the attire. For most of us, it's the first time we get to see that some of these animals CAN actually look good." - January 1989

"I look upon my selection as the next WSRFC coach as a culmination of my nineteen years in rugby. During the off-season I urge you to stay in shape. I applaud those of you working out at different clubs (not pubs)." - Jim Borell, Jan 1989

"The Ruggerfest will be held at Kenilworth Park this year due to a large civil rights demonstration at the mall. The entrance fee will be 20 pints of blood from each team. " August 1988

"Beginning Sept. 29^th, the WSRFC will sponsor the Miss Nude Rugger-Hugger contest. In addition to being judged on beauty, entries will also be judged for color coordination, composition, background and breast size. All entries must be mailed to PO Box 3413, Reston, VA, 22090 and must include the model's name, age, phone number and a list of hobbies. Huggers may submit photos of themselves without a WSRFC sponsor. All judges' decisions are final, maybe." - Sep. 1984

"The newsletter staff takes no credit or responsibility for the contents of this issue." - Weird disclaimer found on many old newsletters.

"Word has reached the newsletter staff that Dave Yenowine has decided to become a referee. Anyone who knows Dave realizes that this idea must have come about during a drunken stupor or a fit of madness. Any effort to talk him out of this decision will be greatly appreciated by rugby players everywhere." - January 1987

"Peter Miller suffered a separated shoulder in the Doylestown game, but being the trooper that he is he decided to see Dr. Budweiser for treatment. The good doctor seemed to have deadened the pain and a few other things. That's the last we saw of Peter." - May 1987

"ANDERSON RESIGNS! Citing pressures and concerns from governmental interference, WSRFC Head Coach Bill Anderson announced that he is giving up the helm effective April 19,1986. Anderson said he is tired of the new rules and regulations being imposed on head coaches. "There was a time when all that we were responsible for was fielding a good rugby team. Now with the Civil Rights Commission, I have to keep stats relative to minority involvement."

Anderson further commented that OSHA regulations now force him to regularly inspect everyone's equipment to make sure that all hazards are eliminated. "I found someone who was missing one cleat from their boot and I had to fill out 3 different forms." Environmental Impact Statements have also been a thorn in Anderson's side. "Before we are allowed to use a field, I have to file an assessment which stipulates the present condition of the field. After the match I have to inspect the field and report if there were any changes."

When asked what lies ahead for the winningest coach in Suburbs history, Anderson would only comment that it doesn't involve athletics. A rumor circulating among the rugby club owners is that Anderson and long time friend a teammate Greg Gregory, plan to manufacture their own line of men's cosmetics." - 4/1/86

"A new era is about to happen in the WSRFC history. For the first time Club Marks will be available for use by all dues-paying club members. Marks have been used for years by several rugby clubs to help pinpoint the impact range of high tackles. WSRFC Marks will be loud enough for almost everyone to hear, and some are available in closed caption for the hearing impaired. See Adam Chism for more details." - 4/1/86